Love, Harry
by Joji Sada
Summary: Harry has to come to grips after his lover's death. Rated for Caracter Death and Suicide. Oneshot. Finished


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything you can legally tie to J.K. Rowling. However, I felt like pulling them out of the closet to play with.

**A/N: **Sorry, this is really out of my style but the mood hit. I am sorry I have not updated lately but life has been hectic. I am trying. Please read and review to let me know if this is okay. Unbeta'd as of now.Major tissue warning and character death. You have been warned.

_**Why does the world cry when the rain does no more good than sun? **_

_**Why do angels only watch when hate fills each breathe of air?**_

_**Why does the heart pound fiercely against smooth skin but damage nothing?**_

_**Why does blood flow so contently yet seek to escape each moment a pin prick marks?**_

- Joji Sada

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_You promised me you would never leave me and yet you have. Though I have never really believed that. I know you are still hear, holding me up; for I know I would not have the strength to keep breathing. I know you hear me call to you amidst the nightmares and soothe the pain from my brow. I also know you believe I should not be sitting here talking to you. You were different from everyone else and I loved you for it._

_You always saw how the pain reflected in my eyes and when the smiles never reached far enough you were my support. You were my safety and yet you never knew I needed you. I could show you but you were blind to everything, including me. You kept me going and your shadow held me up when you disappeared. _

_I'm lost without you. Tears always threatened to stain my soul yet you helped me. You never looked at me with contempt, with awe, or distaste. Yet, you never mirrored my love and companionship. I lost you when you stopped hating me, I only found you again as I sit quietly and watch myself trace your beautiful name. Each groove driving me further to the edge. _

_I promised you I would never follow but I cannot abide by that. While I know it is impossible, I am incomplete and it is driving me mad. You were all I had left and now you are all I have to look forward to. I promised you I would move on and now I shall. I should say goodbye to you but I will only say hello. _

_With every day, life seeps further from me and I cannot live like this. I love you too much to let another take the world from me. That was taken the day I watched you sink down and I kept my promise to you. One white thorned rose, the same one you gave me as the only reminder of who I was to you, lay to rest above your ashes, as I promised. I have no shame in saying that that rose had drowned in my tears and alcohol that first night. I owe you nothing but the truth of which you already know. _

_You only said it once. Only once would you let me show you why you are beautiful. Only then did you allow me to know the truth. You let me cry, scream, and fall apart on me and you helped me when you could have destroyed me._

_Because you loved me, I am a better person. I lost all faith when you fell. I am nothing beautiful or otherwise without you. You were my voice, my eyes, my strength, and my heart._

_Because you loved me, I must leave. I promised you I would move on and I shall. I will move on with you and finally be at peace. I will finally be with you once more. I will love you long after my breath is no more and my spirit seeks you. I will love you after we disappear into myth and no one knows of our lives. I've always loved you and now I sleep with the most peace since the first night I found you and the last night fate allowed us together. You are mine as I am yours. Where you go I will follow. While you will never read it, those who find me will and each will know the truth. I love you and I promise to survive in the one way I know how; finding you._

_Love ,  
__Harry _

**Never**

_**Gentle music filtered helplessly thru the walls  
**__**A sound more intoxicating than the rest  
**__**A moment in time where the world stood still  
**__**A Place who found the answers best**_

_**Streams of ice flowed helpless  
**__**But the quiet air kept safe  
**__**Shivers trembled over fire's flame  
**__**A moment right with nothing left to say**_

_**Careless jumps and careful moves  
**__**Lightning Shocks and Fire's ice  
**__**Important truths and Heartless lies  
**__**One second to late for the fight**_

_**Falling bridges saved the rain  
**__**It fell slowly on a simple rose  
**__**Red burned brutal in horizon's line  
**__**A tired path for one who finally chose**_

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Sitting on his knees, Harry leaned forward and laid a gentle kiss on the bitter headstone. As each letter stared ruthlessly with unseeing eyes, he let go. Tears fell helpless on the stained paper beneath him. That one man had been his life and now he was laying beneath mounds of dirt. The one love he had found had been left to nothing. 

Harry had spent days holed in his house with a single picture that reminded him of their time, their hidden trysts and love. Words could never explain why he was lost. Only his broken heart and incomplete soul held the answers to the questions of the winds.

Silently he prayed his blood would be absorbed and nourish an Earth who had left him doomed. He never possessed the ability to condemn another, being or not. With one final tear that dropped pointedly on the edge of his knife. He pushed it, unflinchingly, into his heart, the place he knew would hold an all too real hole.

He fell forward carelessly, curled into a ball, on the top of his soul mate's grave. The picture pinned to him thru the knife and his final goodbye near him, the tattered edges soaked in blood; his blood. He could feel someone helping him thru. It had taken twenty-one years and Harry finally found his **home**.

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**A/N:** I am not one to write character death but this is what happens when one is sad and listening to sappy love songs. I really hope it turned out okay. Thank you.


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